Story Time - Avoiding Expectations

Experiences - Finishing the Marathon

One of the teachings of Buddhism and the Dharma that I have been particularly trying to take to heart lately is to do things because they are the right thing to do, not because you are expecting specific results. Avoiding attachment to results is a key element in staying centered. Recently I had an experience which provided a teaching moment for this principle that I wanted to share. I ran the SF Marathon last weekend, a full marathon known as being the "marathon that marathoners are afraid of." It was tough! My knee still hurts as a reminder. It was also extremely rewarding, in more ways than one, and one of those ways was as a reminder of the importance of avoiding expectation of outcome. Truly, a marathon reminds us of the importance of the journey over the destination. This course, in particular, is a circle, which is a great metaphor for life as well as a concrete depiction of avoiding results. All I accomplished with my stress and effort was to end up back where I started! It would have been easier to just stay put!

I remember specifically mile 23. I was in pretty intense pain. My feet hurt, my knees hurt. I wanted to finish so badly. I was attached to the finish line. I envisioned it as this beatific paradise where finally I would get to stop running. I begrudgingly put one foot in front of the other as fast as my body would bear.

And then, something clicked, some teaching or experience of dharma, the little voice in my head said "Wait". And I suddenly realized, in that moment, the power of the *now*, and the power of the journey. For the rest of my life, I will be a person who finished the SF Marathon, but only in that moment was I someone about to finish the SF Marathon. And that is a powerful moment, bursting with promise. I ran 23 miles to experience what it was like to be about to finish a marathon, and I may not have that moment again for quite a while; the savoring of the finish, the joy of completion, the pain of my physical body. I was alive, and I chose in that moment to take a snapshot of my experience. The world slowed down around me, and I remember looking up and seeing the HiDive, a dive bar on the Embarcadero which I've jogged past many times, but never like this. It looked like the halls of Olympus. And we were jogging on the road, which was uniquely closed for the event. I remember stepping off the curb near At&T Park onto the Embarcadero itself, symbolic of breaking the normal barriers between runners and traffic. I remember the shoes I was wearing, the shirt, the smells, the sounds. I did not run past the moment, instead I chose to be in the moment, and because I did, I will have those memories for the rest of my life!

And that is a powerful lesson indeed.